Every E3 is always full of surprises, but it seems that E3 2017 is likely to be the most unexpected event in years. All the publishers and companies have grown and learned from their past experiences, which lead to some streamlining for some and experimentation for others. As such, our list of E3 press conferences may be the least predictable and toughest to rate we’ve ever done. No longer can we just relegate a bumbling Ubisoft to the rafters and just award the medal to Sony for showing up. Everyone was, at least, a fighting contender this year and that’s great to see. Now then, here is the verdict on the press conferences of E3 2017, from worst to best:

 

 

7. Bethesdaland

It takes quite some effort to have one of the games of the show in a lineup and still come out as the straggler of the group. There was so little significant material in this press conference; it was in no way worth getting out of bed for. Some old games are getting a virtual reality (VR) treatment, for the 0.1% of the audience that applies to. There’s some downloadable content (DLC) for a game, yet another port for another title and a sequel to a game that was already hyped way too much the first time. Bethesda even tried rebranding paid modifications as a worthwhile venture and had the gall to give that dedicated stage time. Let’s just say the internet’s response to that has been lukewarm.

The only worthwhile item born out of Bethesdaland is Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus, even if that game also is just their other properties, Fallout and Doom, mashed together. The once juggernaut developer seems to have run out of ideas for quite some time now. Your best bet is to jump on the Quake Champions Beta, which is available for free to everyone, for those who want to download the Bethesda launcher. Yes, they’re also doing their own launcher; ew.

 

 

6. PC Gaming

So far, every PC Gaming show has left its audience wanting to stab its own eyes out, something that Devolver Digital surpassed this year, by the by. Even if a bunch of cool announcements eventually made its way on stage, everything about its presentation is just so terribly awkward. Poor banter, drawn out segments, depression-inducing corporate obligations, a multitude of production errors; it’s the worst possible way to pay tribute to one of the largest, most dedicated audiences in the gaming industry.

Its only redeeming quality is that the conference actually did have a multitude of interesting titles to show, between all the cringe moments. Don’t Starve developer Klei is working on a Banner Saga-inspired roleplaying game (RPG), called Griftlands. Publisher Chucklefish of Starbound and Stardew Valley fame seeks to embrace yet another retro audience with Wargroove, the spitting image between Advance Wars and Fire Emblem. Bohemia Interactive, the people behind Arma, are making their own survival craft thing with Ylands. Those are just a few standout titles, buried in the worst stage of E3. Somehow, closing with a remake for the first Age of Empires, a twenty year-old title that’s long since been outdone, sounded like a showstopper to PC Gaming. Ok then; got it.

 

 

5. EA

Speaking of stale: Electronic Arts (EA) set the bar extremely low by starting off the press conference beat with not much to show. Now, what the company had in store wasn’t necessarily bad, but it seems a lot of stages this year chose for nothing but safe bets and this was definitely the case here as well. There’s the slew of sports titles, which are getting enhanced with story modes. NBA Live is still trying to pick itself off the ground, like some sort of grape. Then, the show concluded by announcing that Star Wars Battlefront II would focus a lot on singleplayer this time, only to show half an hour of, admittedly gorgeous, multiplayer gameplay.

Due to the amount of known properties, A Way Out, the next game from the makers of Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons, undoubtedly stole the show. This adventure will be available as a co-op experience only and will always be shown in splitscreen, even if played online. The game about a jailbreak looks absolutely fascinating and definitely made good on being the “token indie title” of EA. For some reason, EA didn’t show Anthem, the new major release from developer Bioware, at their own conference. Your guess is as good as ours as to why.

 

 

4. Ubisoft

Who knew Ubisoft would one day not only be our last pick, but also immediately climb above a few others as well. Again, an Ubi press conference isn’t exactly the most thrilling, with tons of boring sequels and a good dose of musical cringe in between, but the company sure bookended its show perfectly.

First up, real talk: If anyone told us that a Rabbids game would be one of the best games we’d see at any E3, we would’ve laughed ourselves into a coma. Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle makes us eat those words. A Rabbid and Nintendo take on classic XCOM gameplay, complete with team tactics and cover; it needs to be seen to be believed, but it looks like the perfect entry-level to that genre. It looks like XCOM. Far Cry 5 looks like more Far Cry, same for Assassin’s Creed, who is now doubling up with another intellectual property (IP) in Skull and Bones, the logical conclusion to the success of Black Flag’s pirate theme.

Oh, and Ubisoft dragged Beyond Good & Evil 2 back on stage and its concept looks like a UK garage scene dream, straight out of a Gorillaz video. Every year, Ubi becomes more desperate in its attempt not to be bought by Vivendi. Good luck.

 

 

3. Sony

Sony always puts on a good show, but it was hard to debate exactly where they’d land this year. The answer is: not the top spot. Yes, Sony displayed a lot of games a lot of people will like, but they also didn’t present a lot of novelty. Another Uncharted, Days Gone and Detroit are back for a third year, Shadow of the Colossus gets a needless remaster, Knack 2; there was very little in terms of excitement and it sort of got handed out as is. One of its biggest show stoppers, the announcement that Monster Hunter World is coming back to Playstation, got a bit sullied with the news that the game will also launch on Xbox One and PC.

Sony has a ton of good games in store, they do; no one can deny that. God of War looks excellent and the company pushes VR better than any other, but they didn’t blow out all the stops this year. A new Spider-man game, however, was a weirdly appropriate closer, showing off some incredible gameplay, akin to the Arkham series, with beautiful vistas. Mentioning the Playstation Vita once would’ve made Sony climb one additional spot. The Vita is dead; it never had a chance.

 

 

2. Nintendo

Nintendo hadn’t much to show this year. So the publisher had the courtesy not to waste our time, after a slew of drawn out press conferences. All their material got wrapped up in about half an hour. There’s a new Kirby game and a new Yoshi game, who will both just be called their respective names. We also got a stinger for the existence of a Pokémon RPG and Metroid Prime 4 game on Nintendo Switch, which was apparently enough to satiate the rabid fans. Rocket League will be available on Switch too, making that portable version a big play for the company.

The mother of all show stoppers though, beyond even the unexpected arrival of a Rabbids XCOM game, was Super Mario Odyssey. A lot of us would’ve just expected another tried and true Mario experience. Nothing could’ve prepared us for the glorious nightmare that followed. Let’s just say that Mario can become a taxi. That’s not a metaphor: Mario is a literal taxi, with a mustache. Somehow, Nintendo did it again and revitalized its most used property, back to Mario 64 levels of grandeur. That will make us overlook that the Metroid: Samus Returns, the 2D re-imagination of the Game Boy classic, got announced after the event. Yup, we’re suddenly getting two Metroid games.

 

 

1. Microsoft

Microsoft had a lot to prove this year. Their Scorpio project was a meme before it hit the stage, emphasizing being “the most powerful console ever.” While the price, $499, might not have sold everyone, everything else in this press conference was hit after hit, well, aside from Forza, who brought back the EA stage car meme. Stop bringing cars.

Metro Exodus, the latest in the atmospheric shooter franchise, is undoubtedly one of the strongest titles we’ve seen and got ample time to show off its stunning horrors. Xbox snatched up the incredibly successful Steam Early Access title, PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds. That alone is a huge power move that will sell millions of copies, perhaps even consoles. State of Decay 2 brings another fan-favorite back. Dragon Ball FighterZ from the makers of Guilty Gear looks like the best offering that the anime series has ever brought. Cuphead finally got a release date. Smaller titles aplenty stormed the stage with the gorgeous platformer The Last Night, Ashen, The Artful Escape, and a new Ori. Terry Crews is in Crackdown 3. Anthem actually got gameplay footage here and looks impressively interesting. There was just so, so much goodies to be had. The only downside is that the “exclusive” term was used extremely liberally, as only a tiny part of these games will actually be bound to an Xbox.

Still: Congratulations, Microsoft, you’ve not only learned from your mistakes, but taken that experience to new heights, with a press conference that was filled to the brim with games that are both captivating and diverse. We might not shell out $499 for an Xbox One X, which is a dumb name to begin with, but we definitely see the console as a main player now, especially with backwards compatibility for original Xbox games. Hot dang, they really nailed it this year.

 

 

It wasn’t easy, but that’s the list of press conferences for E3 2017, from worst to best. It feels like we always say this, but E3 was wonderful once more this year; interesting, certainly. We hope you’re enjoying the event as well and make sure to stay on the site for more news. We’ve also got a giant Youtube E3 2017 playlist with a ton of trailers for announcements, for those who want to see some of these neat projects in action.

Who “won” E3 2017 for you? Let us know in the comments, we’d love to see your enthusiasm!

Daav Valentaten, NoobFeed (@Daavpuke)