Interview with Batman

Hello all if you missed my previeous interviews then you can read the Superman interview here and the Spiderman interview here.

 

Hello and welcome to yet another infamous and dubious Koshai show. I am your lovely (worst for guests) host Koshai and tonight I am bringing you Gotham's city's biggest convinct Batman.

 

Batman raised his eyesbrows instantaneously.

 

My bad, I realized that as par tv channel and NoobFeed rules, I should not offend people in anyway possible. I hope Batman still do not get offended since he himself declared himself as a fugitive in the Dark Knight movie. So its all good. So with no further delays, let us meet my guest.

 

Koshai: How do you do Mr Batman?

 

Batman: I AM BATMAN!!!!!

 

Koshai: Yes we all know you are Batman, so how are feeling right now?

 

Batman: I AM BATMAN!!!!!

 

Koshai: Bloody hell, yes the crowd knows you are Batman. Or what should I call you? Bruce Wayne?? (Ooops)

 

Batman: I AM BATMAN!!!!

 

Koshai: (Raised eyebrows) Ok ok you are THE BATMAN!! Are you happy enough! Or should I call you again? YOU ARE BATMAN!!!

 

The two reached into mutual understanding.

 

Koshai: So lets get back to basics. So the police are still hunting you for being a fugitive. How the hell did you even managed to get into this show?

 

Batman: I AM BATMAN!! I can come from anywhere I wish. I walk in the shadows and I can sneak past everyone, even the cops. I am the real Ninja!!

 

Koshai: Come on dont insult the Ninjas by pretending to be a Ninja. You dont have the capability or even the skills of a Ninja.

 

Batman: How dare you doubt me? I AM BATMAN!!! I  Those puny shurikens that those so called Ninjas use are no match to my Batarang. I can walk trhough shadows. I have something that Ninjas crave for. I can fly and glide. In facts NInjas are inspired from me.

 

Koshai: So let me put everything in one piece. As far as my knowledge says, Ninjas originate from Ancient Japan . They had two specific jobs: gathering information or assassination. I have got two questions in my mind. First, how old are you? Second, since you get information from your computers by hacking, so how many people you have killed so far? Rest in peace to those unlucky ones.

 

Batman: Listen I AM BATMAN!!! I am not that old. If I was that old, you would have never meet me in this interview. You should have a common sense.

 

Koshai: I think I should tell you the same thing. Ninjas inspired from you: what a biggest joke.

 

Batman: Look I AM BATMAN!!! In order to save Gotham City and its people, Batman needs both sense and heart. If Batman has heart how can he kill people? You answer me this question.

 

Koshai: Sorry I still have to counter that. You said you have heart. Or hearts in my opinion. How many girlfriends did you have? In fact I already lost count. It seems to me you dont stick around a particular girl at all. You keep on dumping them too. Just because you are the rich Bruce Wayne (oops again!!!) does not mean you have the right to hit and ditch girls as much as you want.

 

Batman: Listen, I am BATMAN!!! My life is dangerous. I dont want anyone close enough to get danger just because of me.

 

Koshai: I see but that still puzzles me, since some of your girlfriends are actually Gotham City villain. Catwoman for example. Are you trying to double cross the whole city? You claim you want to save Gotham, yet you deal with crooks. That tells me why you are a convict.

 

Batman: I AM BATMAN!! I will not betray my city and the people. And please dont judge Catwoman with your prejuduced views. She is not like what you all think. In fact she is very nice.

 

Koshai: We will see about that in my next show (which will be a Diva edition). Right now tell me about your companion Robin. Why you always give him less imporatance? Everytime he gives a sensible opinion, you downplay his views. Not to mention, I heard a rumor that you went to a bar looking for someone and you ended up dancing with a girl who was playing with you, while being completely drunk. Boy o boy, I heard people saying that you dance really horrible.  You ended up surrounded by gangs because of your ignorance. At the end, it was Robin who saved you from your demise. Your lazyness costs you badly and you dont even credit your partner.

 

Batman: I AM BATMAN!!! I will get all the credits. I am the main superhero, not him. I decide what is right to do. He is my sidekick thats all. If he has problems than he can leave.

 

Koshai: Yea and you end up getting drunk while Robin gets the job done. Well he left anyway. He became the leader of Teen Titans and finally Nightwing. Glad he has his own superhero identity. He should have left you earlier when you allowed pictures and artwork, in the media, of you and him sharing a same bed.........

 

Batman: You are saying I am gay???? I AM BATMAN AND I AM NOT GAY!!!!

 

Koshai: Maybe, maybe not. At least it supports the idea since you have been dumping girls anyway.

 

Batman rose up with furious rage, held Koshai with his two hands holding the Koshai's shirt collar, held him face to face and whispered at a scary dark tone, "I AM BATMAN!"

 

Koshai countered, "I want to let  you know that the police were standby during this interview. I took this measure if anything goes wrong. So you still have some time to run away." After finishing his last sentence, Koshai shouted "SECURITY????"

 

As the security gathered around, Batman shot an arrow with rope attached and climbed to stage roof immediately. Few seconds later he was nowhere in sight.

 

Koshai finally settled himself, "Since Batman became MIA, I guess we have to conclude tonight's show abruptly so have a good night."

 

The next morning, Koshai's youtube account got spammed yet again, "LEAVE BATMAN ALONE!!!" Something needs to be done to this spammer.