Interview with Spiderman

Hello all and welcome to yet another edition of the dubious Koshai show. I am your lovely host, the controversial Koshai, who is also considered as the guest’s worst nightmare. Previously we interviewed our very own Man of Steel, The Superman. If you missed it then no worries, since I have archived the whole interview dialog here. So as today’s guest, we have none other than your friendly neighborhood hero, Spiderman. I hope he is delighted to join here (hopefully he doesn’t know about what happened to Superman). So let’s have a chit-chat with him.

 

Koshai: Hello Peter Parker!!!

 

Spiderman: Dude what the hell!!! You are putting me in serious danger.

 

Koshai: Oops sorry my bad!! I thought you wanted to become big just to impress your lovely Mary Jane!

 

Spiderman: Well that was my past when I was in puberty stage, you know I wasn’t that matured and I used to make some stupid mistakes.

 

Koshai: So when did you leave your immaturity?

 

Spiderman: Can’t you say in real decent manner? Well to answer your question, it was when Uncle Ben said to me “With great power, comes a great responsibility!!!”

 

Koshai: But you still acted childish, like going to wrestle with a man, knock him out, get money and waste your money to buy a car just to impress your sweet Mary Jane. You could have saved this money for your own cause in the future. Your Uncle Ben R.I.P. didn’t want to see that in you.

 

Spiderman:  Dude, it should definitely take some time for me to realize the true value of Uncle Ben’s dialog. And by the way, what’s with this MJ? Are you jealous that I married her?

 

Koshai: Not at all! In fact I don’t think it’s wise not to think of marrying her anyway. She seemed quite fascinated with riches. By the way, I was pretty much annoyed with the fact you were double timing with Gwen Stacey.

 

Spiderman: Don’t you ever talk about her. You know she is dead.

 

Koshai: She could have been more devastated when she would knew that you would have gotten involved with numerous other relationships particularly Felicia Hardy.

 

Spiderman: Dude what the hell!!! Keep it silent. You are again bringing Black Cat’s identity in danger. And please stop this extramarital affair thing. MJ is watching the TV.

 

Koshai: Oops my bad again. So let’s talk about another thing. How you feel when you keep New York City safe and sound?

 

Spiderman: It’s awesome man. It is fun swinging around and I don’t even have to go to amusement parks and take some rides there. I am making my own ride. Also people do like what I do. In fact I am a big celebrity.

 

Koshai: So you still are keeping your celebrity status as your first priority and your responsibilities as your second priority. Can I still conclude that you are still immature when it comes to be a superhero?

 

Spiderman: What‘s wrong with you? You don’t realize this thing because you are not a superhero. I am a superhero and I spin webs on you, tie you up and throw you in Hudson River.

 

Koshai: Don’t you ever think of doing that. People are watching you. You have to maintain your celebrity status. You don’t want to become involved in scandals right. And by the way, I have my Angry Cat.

 

Spiderman: Well I can understand that people love me, kids love me, the city council loves me, mayor loves me, the civil and social worker love me.

 

Koshai: Wait a minute, you said civil and social worker love you and the city council love you? You got to be joking. Do you know how pissed they are with your actions? Do you know that they have to spend a million dollars per week to clean up all the webs you shoot at buildings? Think about these social and civil workers, whose lives became hellish because they have to clean up all your webs.

 

Spiderman: Well can’t they understand I am saving New York City from the bad people.

 

Koshai: There are police who can take care of these people.

 

Spiderman: The police cannot stop these villains. They are no match with them.

 

Koshai: Because your vigilante actions have caused New York to double their expenses on cleaning the city and so reduce the wages of the Police force to balance the budget. As a result the police are demotivated to work seriously.

 

Spiderman: So you are telling me it is my entire fault? Is it wrong to save New York City? Is it wrong to save people? What kind of person are you?

 

Koshai: You already proved my point. You are still immature. See you don’t even realize when to use your power wisely. Most of the time there are small criminals whom the police can take care of. You are required for big super villains and the chances of these super villains to show up are pretty low. So what you do, instead of spending your time doing regular full time job, you are wasting your time roaming around the city, making the city dirty with webs while trying to be a big celebrity and also waste your energy. You could use this energy on your job and on Mary Jane. She needs some time with you. If you have realized this long time before, you could have been more focused, more matured and you could have become rich by then and Mary Jane didn’t have to spend in your dirty apartment.

 

Spiderman: I can’t stand this anymore. I am getting out of this place.

 

Spiderman stood up and swing away making the stage dirty.

 

Koshai: That was pretty early. Oh well, that’s all folks. This is Koshai and have a good night.

 

After few days, Koshai's youtube account got spammed yet again by the same person deliberately saying and shouting "LEAVE SPIDERMAN ALONE!!!!!!!"