Top 3 Fun Football Games

First off, I believe in credit where it’s due and as such this idea stems forth from this man’s effort. Go read it and love it. Secondly, ‘football’ only means rugby in a very select part of the world; the rest of us immediately mean ‘soccer’. In all fairness, we should just call the prior ‘handegg’, since it’s more accurate and you are in the minority anyway. Now, the following games are what made football fun for me. I recently tried previewing the newest edition of International Superstar Soccer Pro Evolution Soccer and just couldn’t go through with it. The command list was so convoluted with minute, specific options that I just lost interest instantly. It just didn’t look nor feel fun for me, which is why I want to play sports. I remember where games would have 2 or 3 buttons and you’d be on your way.

This show showed me the fun of football. No realism here, only physics trolling.

Don’t get me wrong, having an intense simulation can be entertaining. I own many football manager games (for consoles, mind you) and those are pure timewasters. It can be captivating to immerse yourself in the world of sports, but when I’m at the wheel or foot or whatever, I want to enjoy myself. Having to think about which specific combination will lead me to an inch of progress is not something I want to actively have to sit through; it needs to be swift and effective. That’s partially what caught me on to the latest NHL release: It was deep, but not so deep that you could lose yourself into it. Sports franchise games might have forgotten that there are many among us that are just benchwarmers. These people just want to have fun and watch Ronaldo or whoever is popular now score some damn goals. And with that, I present to you the 3 games that scored the most goals in my heart.

3) Adidas Power Soccer International 97 (PSOne)

In reality, this game should be slammed, as it was just one very elaborate commercial for the ‘Predator’ series shoes, which were popular at the time. These shoes were also pronounced horribly by people in my country, putting enormous emphasis on the ‘a’ for some reason, driving my nuts. But this game was such a horrible good time that everyone loved it; though probably more for the endorsement than the game.

By pressing a certain combination, players could unleash a Power shot, which would whoosh over the screen in a straight line and take down anything in its path. The only penalty for it was that it took away from a fitness bar, meaning you could get 2 or 3 of these well-placed shots in with a few players. And as you could sub those out at half time, there were tons of opportunities to score goals by simply knocking the goalie in the nets.

This man knows the true meaning of 'predator kick'.

I also believed that this game was somehow endorsed by Eric Cantona, because it was possible to kick a man straight in the face. Adidas knew that kids just wanted to have fun and it won this battle with this neat title, which later died in anonymity.

2) Hat Trick Hero ‘93 aka Euro Football Champ ‘92, Taito Cup Finals, etc. (Arcade)

This game is remembered by many names, but what players worldwide will truly commemorate it for are its Super and Hyper Shots.  Arcades weren’t built on realism; action had to come quick and plentiful to draw and keep the attention of quarter-filled kids. As such, the game bolstered the least realism possible with the most fun possible. Rapidly passing the ball would cause your teammates to do backflips; attackers would just dropkick the ball in and so on.  But while random cartwheels and more outlandish moves were already captivating, it’s the Super Shots that stole the show.

By selecting a special power at kick off, players could choose to perform a shot so powerful, it would destroy everything in its path. Forget simply kicking the goalie in; after a complex acrobatic move, the attacker would kick the ball like it was a comet. The ball would catch fire and anything in its trajectory would get blasted to the back of the stadium where it would explode. Now that’s realism!

Your screen isn't upside down, this man is just casually doing flips.

But also, random events would happen, announced as “What happened?” A shoe falling on the referee’s head, a doggie running across the field or a naked girl on the pitch would distract play. And let’s face it: It was a legit way for boys to get a chance at virtual boob.

1) Nintendo World Cup (NES)

This is the mother of all great football games. What kid my age doesn’t remember playing a few rounds of Nintendo World Cup, created by the River City Ransom guys? The big-headed, short-legged teams would hop along the field, trying to get that bicycle kick to work or get a flying header in. But the best part was the crazy animations that ensued from taking a special shot. Whether the ball would start glowing, zigzagging or break all laws of time and space; it never got old to see it gradually make its way to the back of the net.

The cover actually states: "Realistic soccer with an international flavour."

Oh, and the faces of those caught in the fire were so hilarious. With bugged out eyes, players would crash down on the floor and remain there unconscious for a while, face down. Ever tried passing to an unconscious teammate? There’s not a lot of response there. But still, the game was far from being easy, even with this advantage. The last stages were just crippling in difficulty, with the computer just blocking all possible shots. Many would try and fail, but everyone remembers creaming Cameroon with about 19 goals to nothing. Poor guys; they weren’t even that bad.

Daav Valentaten, NoobFeed. (@Daavpuke)