Will Samus ever get a life partner?

Last night I and my roommate were having a very interesting conversation. My roommate was watching the criticism of the Metroid Other M storyline and was concluding himself and to me how the developers screwed up the Metroid story badly as it seemed they had lost their ideas. After a long conversation we finally reached to a conclusion that Samus Aran is totally alone and nobody out there to accompany her. Then immediately something came into my mind. If she is really alone, why don’t she have a life partner? At least I myself can be a candidate if she ever be real. Then immediately my roommate crushed my hopes by saying “Trust me, you don’t want to get into someone like her?” So we kept on thinking who could be the likely candidate for Samus Aran. My roommate said that he think there is no one capable to be her life partner because she is too good for everyone and no one could match her because she is the mercenary and a badass bounty hunter, who always save the universe.

 

We still kept on analyzing for a long time. Then I asked, how about Solid Snake. He said no, as he is pretty much emotional and not to mention he involvement in his setting in Metal Gear games is nowhere near where Samus is put into. So we need to find someone who is extremely strong, have serious attitude and fall into the similar scenario that Samus is going through. I thought of people like Master Chief, Marcus Felix and so on but they rely on battle tactics and help from others. What we need is a one man army. So immediately a character came to my mind: Duke Nukem. Duke Nukem has a badass attitude; he kills aliens and even takes a dump on them. Problem is that Duke Nukem has serious perverted attitude and not to mention he even can cheat on Samus and go out with other girls. Also Dukem Nukem uses weapons which are puny enough for Samus’s battle suit. Samus usually deals with rockets and plasmas almost all the time. We also need someone who really cares for Samus. So we kept on looking for more.

 

 

Our next likely candidate was surprisingly Link from the Legend of Zelda franchise. It was my roommate who recommended it, but I had serious doubt on him. True, he is very brave, very caring and even considered a one man army, but something really bothered me. I don’t know why. Maybe he didn’t seem much matured enough to handle Samus or possibly I don’t know, he may not ever see the universe due to his involvement in the fantasy world. Not to mention he is outdated (meaning he has backdated weapons and armors which are no match against Samus). Also he cares for Zelda a lot which I felt I should not break the fruitful relationship between Link and Zelda. Another factor to consider is that I have been watching Drawn Together episodes lately where they portrayed Link as complete loser.

 

We also considered some anime characters too. First of all, we considered Onizuka from GTO but his leads a pretty social life and pretty much involved in teaching. So he is no way can be considered as a candidate. Our next likely candidate was Kakashi from Naruto. We considered him solely for the fact that he Is very reserved at everything and very serious minded. He is devoted towards teaching his students and I don’t think he would ever give Samus some time. Our next candidate was Goro from DragonBall Z. He is strong; he has managed to get through some impossible odds; he even sometimes saves the Earth. He is the likely candidate, but no. He has his wife (one of the most annoying character of the series) who commands him to do all the work. It seems they are well committed to each other. So on to next one. We also considered Kenichi, but he is one of many typical protagonists in an anime. He has a whining attitude, but he will do anything to protect the one he cares most. It’s ok relationship wise but he is not powerful enough to stand against Samus or go to the mission with her. So he is cut off. We considered Captain Bravo from Buso Renkin series since he is matured, he hides his identity just like Samus, well experience in what he does and very powerful. Still the power factor remains a huge question since Captain Bravo still has some vulnerability. Also he seems to show off his coolness a lot, something that Samus would not like. So he is cut off too. We also considered Ichigo Kurosaki from Bleach, but he has the same typical anime protagonist attitude and his powers really show off when he is not in himself. How can Samus deal with someone who can’t even control himself? After nearly giving up, I found out how about Spike Spiegel from Cowboy Bebop stands out. He is cool, he is also a bounty hunter, he has a carefree attitude, he even pilots plane (he can even lend a hand to pilot Samus’s ship) and most importantly he deals in the hyperspace setting. So is he a likely candidate?

 

Let’s head back to the video games section. I just found out two more characters worth mentioning. There is Kratos from God of War series. I will just say one thing: this guys deals with Gods. Problem is that whether he has this unstable mind of his own full of issues and he even don’t bother to go to sleep with many woman, a thing that Samus won’t like at all. He has to do some anger management courses. Last but not the least is the character from Dead Rising: Frank West. He is a one man army, kills off zombies at ease with anything. He even breaks zombies’ bones with a single karate chop. How brave he can be? Not to mention he is quite alone too, living along with zombies. Maybe he also needs someone to accompany him. Maybe Samus can fill him up for a life partner.

 

So I will leave you the decision. Whom would Samus marry? Spike Spiegel or Frank West? Or me hehehe??? Or Samus will never have her own life partner after all because she is too perfect for others??