Hoard PC (Steam) - Quick Look

So, Hoard has now been out for a week on Steam, after being released for Sony’s devices earlier on. We already completed a nice review for y’all to enjoy or ignore at your leisure, but with this new platform, we thought we’d enlighten you on some changes. Are there some changes? Yes, some tweaks and details here and there.

When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, I'm pretty sure you die.

First off, there’s some cosmetic altering, such as nighttime and winter landscapes now being available. The night levels create a very cozy feel, together with all the updated lighting effects. Like Chris Brown would say in his newest video: “It’s fresher than a mother lover.” Except Hoard doesn’t require you to beat Rihanna; just your friends, virtually! Is anyone else unimpressed about him trying to creep into nerd culture with the whole NES pad and DeLorean deal? Moving on! There are only 2 customization options for graphics, but I hardly found any noticeable difference between the two, so they both look terrific.

Somewhat more important than the nice polished visuals is the slight tweaking to the AI, who now is a tad more challenging than before. In previous versions, some dragons might make some quaint decisions, but on Steam these dragons are out for blood as much as they are for gold. Whenever a town is in fear status, these clever fiends will now swoop down and ruin your deal with the villagers. The difficulty isn’t upped to insane proportions, so this actually adds to the fun that much more now.

Winter in medieval Hoard times and still there's crops everywhere. Best. Farmers. Ever.

It’s only a shame that multiplayer doesn’t allow for CPU dragons to join the brawl, so it’s best to have 3 additional friends if you want to play all the maps. Consider it a fresh new way to ruin your friendships! The co-op in particular is a blast to play through Steam, while you rant to your friends to defend the goods. Good times to be found here.

Also, all those billions of achievements that weren’t trophies in the PS3 version are now all unlockable Steam achievements. Since we know how much you all like to rub it in that you’re better than the next guy, this will give you a whopping 115 achievements to strive for. That’s not too shabby, no? And above that even, there are leaderboards with mind-boggling scores. So you better hone those skills if you want to excel. My advice: Grab a controller and play twin stick style, as the keyboard movement won’t feel as smooth as an analog stick.

Winter and nighttime in Hoard? Mind blown for sure.

Basically, Hoard for Steam is the granddaddy of all versions so far. It’s the Grandmaster Flash, the grand inquisitor, the granola bar; wait, that’s not right. My point is: If by any chance you haven’t hopped onto the dragon’s back yet and started destroying towns, then the Steam version is the one you and your friends want. Therefore, consider adding about 5 points to our original review for this version. Don’t forget to add yours truly if you ever find yourself in medieval times. Now, I’m going to try and get that stupid song out of my head. What a poser.

Oh snap, almost forgot: Feel free and grab a nice wallpaper while you’re at it; they’re pretty dope. Do kids still say ‘dope’ in a non-paraphernalia way? Regardless, I like my law-abiding flaming wallpaper. Enjoy!

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Daav Valentaten, NoobFeed. (@Daavpuke)