Interview with Superman

Ladies and gentleman, this is the Koshai show featuring Koshai as the main host or the guest’s worst nightmare. Tonight we have a special guest. He is the man of steel. He is no doubt the greatest superhero of all time. He is strong, he is faster than the bullets and he is the greatest threat to all the villains out there (hmm whether he can beat Koshai’s Angry Cat). So lets have a nice chat with him.

 

Koshai: Hello Superman!!!

 

Superman: Hello Koshai!!!

 

Koshai: How are you today?

 

Superman: Totally wasted. I was never been like this before. Today I feel like I am victim of media attack.

 

Koshai: Why is that so?

 

Superman: Don’t you see the recent Superman movie was a flop? It seems people don’t like me anymore or even they don’t want to see my face anymore. I feel like I am a loser.

 

Koshai: But you are a celebrity?

 

Superman: Yes I am. I am a victim of media like other celebritites like Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton or Britney Spears. Shame on those media putting so many rumors of me doing so many dirty stuffs like…………

 

Koshai: Like……..?????

 

Superman: I don’t need to tell you anything. You guys already watched me on TV. Didn’t you see the episodes from Drawn Together? The creators of this stupid reality show put me into deep shame. They exposed me. Shame on them!!!

 

Koshai: But you agreed to do reality show with them. So it is basically your fault.

 

Superman: Yes, but I didn’t expect this obscenity.  They didn’t focus on my good side. They showed the bad side of me. They showed me how lame and gay I am. It is not fair.

 

Koshai: Supposed to be. Every time we all see you in action, you look gay and everything you do feels gay to us. The simple reason is that you wear your red underpant outside. Is this you call decency?

 

Superman: Listen!! Everyone has his or her own way of fashion. This is my preference.

 

Koshai: A really weird one indeed, not to mention, you wear some sort cat suit which is not normal in this modern society.

 

Superman: Because nowadays you people are all perverts and you all tend to find dirty things from your dirty mind. It’s so imminent nowadays. This wasn’t supposed to be like this 40-50 years ago. I was a big thing in the comic books at that time. I think it’s the media that portrayed me like this because they tend to find anything interesting and put up whatever rubbish they can find so that people can gossip about. Just think about Michael Jackson. What happened to him? He was innocent all thorugh out but media didn’t let him leave peacefully. He was a celebrity but an unhappy one. Please leave me alone. Yes I am a celebrity, but I also a human being like you all.

 

Koshai: Err….how come you are a human being??? You are an alien from outer space.

 

Superman: But I am adopted and raised here. I am just a citizen of Earth. I just did the same thing what immigrants do: changing citizenship.

 

Koshai: So what do you think when did this downfall started?

 

Superman: It all started back in 1999 when Titus Software released a game on Nintendo 64: Superman 64. I had limited powers at that time. I could not go here and there. I could not destroy any cars or tanks properly. I could not even punch people properly. The only thing I had to do is to solve some puzzles which I could not even do because I timer gets to zero. I am faster than a bullet but this game showed that how lazy I can be. They showed me that I was bound to fly through a series of rings. These guys snatched my power, my freedom, my first amendment rights, everything. It is so painful. Even worse that this game is rated as one of the worst game of all time and I am credited for the lowest rated game compared to other superhero. Because of this other superheroes laugh at me. Even hot super heroines stay away from me because they think that I am such a lousy character.

 

Superman started crying and Koshai lent a handkerchief to him.

 

Koshai: People knew that you are a big star. What makes you think Titus Software did this horrible thing to you?

 

Superman: I think Titus acted desperately. They knew I was a big superstar. Also I knew that they were infamous of making bad games. They wanted to make a game featuring me so they could overcome with financial difficulties. They tried a lot of moves to approach me. I rejected them since I knew if I worked with them, they would end up making a bad game and I would have a serious bad name. One day, they took me to a bar for a friendly chat. We all got drunk. I got drunk a lot more. At that time I was wasted. To make things even worse I didn’t have enough energy from the sun to be strong enough. It is because it was past my bedtime. By the time I was left with no energy, Titus took this opportunity to put Mocap balls on me and captures lots of motion. They even took pictures of me for 3D texture of the character. I was not aware of this. At one time one of the guys from Titus threw stones at the bouncer of the bar. He ran away. I ended up fighting with him while drunk. I guess Titus took this opportunity to record all my energy less movements. Now you all gamers see how I sucked in Nintendo 64. I was drunk. Titus screwed me. My celebrity status got into big slump. Shame on them!!!!!

 

After saying this, he stood up and went away crying like a baby like what is shown in the episodes of Drawn Together.

 

Koshai: That’s all folks! This is the Koshai’s Show and bye for now.

 

After few days, Koshai's youtube account got spammed by someone deliberately saying and shouting "LEAVE SUPERMAN ALONE!!!!!!!"